There’s a baby in here: Be it Ninja or Pirate?

lunapic_137150799519076_14Well hi there my long-lost-but-no-less-loved friends. I’m just gonna cut to the chase here, because I have no skillz with the written equivalent of a drumroll. If you’re not a Facebook follower, you probably haven’t heard, I’M PREGNANT!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I’ve had to wait eight a million weeks to tell you guys and that has SUCKED. So here I go: I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’M PREGNANT!!!!!

It’s been a long road for me and Ninja. We had some fertility woes early on, then I hauled off and had a stroke followed by heart surgery, then we had to wait a doctor’s mandatory year to start trying – then wait another 5 months for this wonderful little human to catch hold of me and start that little heart to beating.

We’re 12 weeks as of yesterday, and doing wonderfully!!

Our 1st trimester screening is tomorrow morning, and the doc’s going to do an estimated early-reveal on the sex of this baby – so place your bets ladies and gents!! Is this going to be a little Jamie? Or a little Ninja?

Truth be told, we’ll probably get a small being with epic ninja/pirate skills either way…this child’s Daddy is so smart it’s nauseating for us regular folks, and I pretty much live far to the west of the bell curve when it comes to typical and/or predictable behavior. If it’s true your baby’s personality is your childhood personality x3, Ninjamin and I are in for some interesting days.

But for now, I’m content to have this tiny human hanging out in my belly. It’s WONDERFUL. There are some things that have happened in my short 12 weeks that I didn’t anticipate – either at all or that they’d happen quite so soon:

  1. Food tastes AMAZING. Food has never tasted this good in my life. And I really really really love food. I simply didn’t know it could get any better.
  2. In reference to #1, I will crave something even when I’m way nauseous with heartburn. It defies all known logic.
  3. My pants don’t fit. They haven’t fit since 7 weeks. I think The Bump just lies to people because, according to their notes, I was supposed to get an entire first trimester out of my existing wardrobe. Which my growing belly met with a resounding NOPE. And then I learned there is no belly band, or belt, or what-the-hell-ever that can sub for the ASTONISHING COMFORT AND JOY of maternity jeans. I ordered some below-
    10 weeks in my belly :) Click the pic for a link to my cousin Jell Jell's words about the local baby explosion and this amazing picture that she took!!

    10 weeks in my belly 🙂 Click the pic for a link to my cousin Jell Jell’s words about the local baby explosion and this amazing picture that she took!!

    the-belly skinnies in a dark wash and they go through the laundry almost daily. They’re my favorite thing next to Benjamin and this baby.

  4. I don’t put things back where they belong anymore. This morning I put the remainder of a stick of butter in the oatmeal box and stuck them in the pantry. Fortunately, I discovered what I’d done before tragedy struck. This is not what happened when I froze the peanut butter last week.
  5. My dogs know I’m pregnant, and they know where that baby is. Izzy’s our girl dog, and she’s started building a nest for my puppy in the shower. Wimbledon is our boy dog, and his preferred coping mechanism is to block any doorway that leads to me with the full weight of his body (Ninjamin has to shoulder the front door open when he gets home from work – Wimbledon weighs 80 lbs); and last week he started to nose my belly for a quick status check before he spends any minute not glued to my side. I have doggie samurai. It’s AWESOME.
  6. Tea can wake you up in the morning if you just believe. It’s like the Santa Claus of caffeine. As soon as I’m done breastfeeding, however, I’m sucking down a gigantic Black Iced Coffee made by the closest barista faster than you can say Quidditch. And it will be magical.
  7. My core body temperature is over 800 degrees for 95% of the day. I live in Texas. It’s July. How much does it cost to turn your house into a walk-in freezer? Anyone?
  8. I want to sleep. SO HARD. In a single perfect day I could win a free Pixies concert in my living room, be notified that George Takei and Brad have graciously (and finally) agreed to be my next door neighbors, have Shirley MacLaine call to tell me that she does – in fact – want to be my best friend, and find a treasure chest containing a million dollars with the words “To Jamie from a completely honest and small-print-free beneficiary” on my front porch and I would STILL be like “I’ll call everyone back tomorrow. I just need to lie down for an hour or so.”
  9. I am alternately ridiculously happy, and utterly terrified, on a daily basis. There’s like 4 cycles of joy/fear per day. I have zero fears about pregnancy and/or childbirth. I have dozens to hundreds of fears about raising a functional human and keeping said human alive and living in a bubble of health, safety, and comfort until he or she is ready and able to be self-sufficient. That’s just WAY HEAVY you guys. There are no free online calculators or Excel templates for this. I’ve looked.
    8.5 week old joy/fear inducing magical being...

    8.5 week old joy/fear inducing magical being…

  10. From the moment you get that positive test, your life is changed. I can’t say that it changes in the same way for everyone, I can only say that the change is GINORMOUS. That change though, for me and for Ninjamin, was that our lives just…….found their stride. It’s the most singularly perfect thing that’s ever happened to me. I just….my entire world feels utterly complete for the first time that I can ever remember.

But, despite my now happily teary eyes (I also cried over a Bahama’s casino vacation commercial this morning, so we’ll not get super mushy here people), let’s not forget to make our guesses and bets and comments before tomorrow afternoon my friends!! Because this baby’s ready to reveal those chromosomes!!

P.S. Ben and I know what we think we’re having. But we’re not telling yet. So neener neener 😉


~ J ~


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10 Responses to There’s a baby in here: Be it Ninja or Pirate?

  1. Mandy says:

    I have a guess!!! This baby is going to be AWESOME! Either boy or girl, this baby is going to be the raddest baby ever! (except for mine of course!) But this baby will have the most amazing, loving parents ever! I’m so happy for you guys, and ❤ you so much!

  2. El Guapo says:


  3. Gay pirate. Neon ninja. Girl. Those are my guesses.

  4. Adrianne says:

    Congratulations! Aaron and I are so, so thrilled for you guys!! And I’m so excited by YOU’RE excitement!! YAY!!! #virtualhighfive
    BTW, my regular pants started getting tight and uncomfortable around 8 or 9 weeks; every women is different. Whatever. Just go with it! Your body is creating organs, arms, and legs…you should be tired…you’re creating a life! How incredible is that?!
    I was really happy to get pregnant with our little guy, but I was more scared, like scared to death actually about the whole giving birth thing. Your fearless confidence about birthing is inspiring! I can tell that you are going to love every second of your pregnancy and that you will be a super cute preggy!
    I was not a cute preggy. I did not “glow,” and I didn’t really enjoy pregnancy, but all of that aside, what I remember most (God is Good!) is this quiet, amazingly sweet, and unworldly joyfilled moment that hit me the instant they put my little guy in my arms. I can’t describe this feeling to you, I don’t think it’s something you can really prepare for…all I can say is that it changed me, my heart, forever – the way I feel, the way I think…everything. I am a much more emotionally “in touch” woman now. I get choked up over heartfelt commercials or signs; the pre-baby me would have definitely made fun me…But I get it now.
    #It’s a boy.
    Love from the Washburns!

  5. Patrick says:


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