So my flip flop sucks for time travel, and I am a detergent samurai now.

Right, so….there was this wormhole, and I got sucked into it when my left flip flop morphed

WHAT!?! I love this totally apropos tribute to Bess and faulty-flip-flop-time-machines!!

into a portal that intended to transport me to an alternate dimension. Only flip flops are notoriously unreliable as far a time/space travel go, and that’s how the wormhole got me. Officially.  Or unofficially. Because this didn’t actually happen. But if it did, there would be a fabulous continuation here about a planet in a galaxy far far away where it’s the current year on earth, only their planet is still fairly young, so I got to hang out with dinosaurs. DINOSAURS Y’ALL. Specifically, I would now have a pet stegosaurus named Bess. Her personality is similar to that of a sweet and affectionate dairy cow. Except for her battle armor. She kicks some serious ass with that mess.

Me, with a kitten, and us being adorable. You’re feeling an overwhelming need to forgive aren’t you? And probably mail me cupcakes right?

So do you forgive me now? For sort of, maybe, probably mostly abandoning you for….erm…a couple months or so?? Because what actually happened is (A) I got monstrously busy at work (B) My family had a baby (aka: Jell-Jell at ISWTGblog is a double-mama now!!)

and (C) I went broke…like WHOA-lets-reconfigure-our-finances-completely broke.

And if you’ve been following me on Pinterest, you may have caught sight of a little board called “Budgeting Like A Boss” where I collected quite a few awesome tidbits on how to keep the occupants of my home in a clean environ, with food, running water, and even electricity most of the time. Heck yes.

Anyhoot, as part of the aforementioned endeavor, I recently made my own Liquid Laundry Detergent and Fabric Softener, because I found the cost of every single store-bought brand to be intolerable. Long story short, I basically spent 2 weeks collecting different “detergent” recipes, and got choosey with the ingredients that I liked, PLUS steps that I felt were way easy achievable with my stressful schedule. I was giving myself an “attagirl” on the almighty Facebook when pals came out of the wood work wanting to know how I did it. Happy to share, I decided to throw the How-To’s up here, complete with visual aids. Again, LIKE. A. BOSS.

So, without further ado…..

Homemade Laundry Detergent

Materials:

  • 1/3 Bar Pink Zote Soap

    The Borax, Washing Soda, and Zote were all found on the laundry aisle at my local grocery store. The funnel may, or may not, have been from Benjamin’s car tools. And I will never admit to knowing from whence it came, btw, so don’t ask.

  • 1 cup of Borax
  • 1 cup of washing soda
  • Big stock pot ( that holds more than 2 gallons)
  • Grater
  • Funnel
  • Whisk
  • Electric Mixer
  • 2 empty gallon jugs/containers or similar with lids

Instructions:

  1. Pour 1 gallon of water into the stock pot
  2. Grate your chunk of soap into your pot. (Or if you’re accident prone like me, on to a plate first, then dump it in the pot)
  3. Heat until the soap dissolves – you’ll want to stir it intermittently
  4. Once your water’s nice and pink with no soapy chunks, add the Borax and washing soda

    You really do need a honkin’ huge pot y’all. I put the smaller of my two empty detergent bottles en frente de my stock pot for size reference. You’re welcome.

  5. Bring to a boil. It will coagulate at first, then thin out as it boils.
  6. Turn off the heat once the mixture has reached a boil.
  7. Add 1 gallon of cold water. Stir well.
  8. Let cool in the pot overnight!! This is super important!! Because this stuff is going to thicken into a gel-block overnight (you should totally jab the gel block with your finger by the way, it feels super weird)

    Blending gel-blocks. Only not in the pan. Because I forgot to take pictures. So really, this is a “dramatization based on real life”. I think it covers all our needs here, don’t you?

  9. The next day, you’ll want to blend it back into a gel with your electric mixer. Just stick the mixer on down in there and flip that baby on high. Move the mixer around in the pot until there are no more baby gel-blocks remaining and you have a smooth mixture  similar in consistency to store-bought liquid detergent.
  10. Pour your detergent into your chosen containers. This is where you’re going to want to employ that funnel. I ended up using one huge 255oz container from the last store-bought batch of detergent I’d bought – plus a smaller 28 load bottle….because I stupidly poured all my warm soap into the big container the night before and it turned into a gel block in there and I had to cut that sucker open to get the gel-block back into the pot for further processing.
  11. Cap those babies and you now have 2 gallons of detergent!! I have a large capacity washer, and 1/2 cup per load has worked just fine for me. I also have super sensitive skin, and the detergent didn’t make me itchy!!

My non-gel block detergent, returned to it’s lovely container that now has a huge-ass hole cut out of the top because I’m a dummy. Anyone have an empty?? Because dibs.

Here’s the cost savings break-down too!!

Pink Zote Laundry Bar (14.1 oz) – $0.97ea – makes 3 batches – $0.32/batch

20 Mule Team Borax (76oz) – $3.38ea – makes 9.5 batches – $0.48/batch

Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (55oz) – $3.24ea – makes 6.8 batches – $0.32/batch

Homemade Laundry Detergent per Load Cost $0.02

All Free & Clear Brand Detergent per Load Cost $0.26

Percent savings on the detergent alone? 1300%

I hope y’all are on the edge of your seat for the next post on Homemade Fabric Softener (which you can also use to make Febreeze!!) because when all was said and done, my laundry costs per load dropped by over 300%. I know. You’re in shock. It’s gonna be okay,  you just need a cookie.

XOXO

~ J ~

Oh, and P.S. to my Facebook readers…by a happy circumstance, I got my math wrong. So if you noticed my savings went up by an extra hundred percent, it’s because I used the number of loads the “All” detergent container reportedly would do (144), versus the actual number of loads it would do in my high-capacity washer (57). So you may proceed with your happy dance for even more monies kept in your pocket. Huzzah.

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This entry was posted in Adventures, Behavior, We're All Guilty of It, Budgeting Like A Boss, Epic Fails, Learning stuff is muy bueno, Science Shiz, Stuff I do...Or like...Or think about and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to So my flip flop sucks for time travel, and I am a detergent samurai now.

  1. renemnorton@sbcglobal.net says:

    I’m so happy you are my daughter!!!!

    ________________________________

  2. Mandy says:

    I never thought about making liquid det! Thats awesome!!! YAY! ❤

  3. Sisyphus47 says:

    sweet smiles: how cool is this!! love it :-*

  4. Fun! I can’t wait to do laundry at your house the next time we’re up there. With our new human child + EB, of course.

    • I am DYING for you to be here with new human child + EB!!! BTW, we gotsta start talking about Thxgiving plans (insert celebratory happy dance here). I think I’m gonna get a mass e-mail going with all the gals on it…except I don’t have an email address yet for N.N. so she can coordinate herself, Z.N. and the boys, do you have one for her? Hugs’n’kisses to those babies!! ❤

  5. Pingback: It’s almost Fall, so fluffy socks and fabric softener. | I Thought This Would Be Easier

  6. Pingback: Saponification is too a word, and I am AWESOME at it. | I Thought This Would Be Easier

  7. Pingback: Budgeting Like A Boss: Epic Thyme Skin-Clearing Toner | I Thought This Would Be Easier

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