I’m okay. Like for reals. I’m finally okay.

BTW, this is Abby. The elusive kitteh that no one ever sees at our house. It's because she's in the cabinet above the refrigerator. That's her panic room.

So everybody and their grandma knows I had a stroke last October, and heart surgery in December. I’ve tried to tackle all of it the best way I know how: with a whole lot of perseverance and a shit ton of stroke jokes. Honestly? It’s been kinda rough. Especially the past couple months, oddly enough. (Side bar: Sorry I haven’t been very chatty lately y’all – I wanted to send you some scribbles, but it’s been all I can manage to do normal stuff, and I didn’t want to be neglectful of things like the mortgage – or buying food). It’s just – no one can tell you what it feels like to be completely exhilarated that you’re wonderfully alive, then have that exhilaration followed by nearly 6 months of being able to do about 20% of what you could do before. And the fatigue – oh my sweet cheeses!! SO TIRED!! I just have to cowboy the fuck up every morning. Seriously, every day I pep talk myself, then drag my tired ass out of bed, and give the universe as much hell as I can muster. And most days things do get a little better, and I’m able to do a smidgen more than the day before.

Last week I had to drive to my cardio-thoracic surgeon’s office in Fort Worth for my “3 months post-surgery” echocardiogram. It was a full-detail one, so I was lying on my left side at an autonomous 45 degree angle, for an hour. It was like sadist pilates y’all. Anyway, I didn’t mention much about it because I wasn’t going to get the results until today. And I got ’em.

I’m okay you guys. For the first time since October 14th 2011, I’m really, truly, honestly okay. There’s no risk for another stroke. The device in my heart is working – there’s no blood moving through the hole like before. The fluid that had built up in my pericardial sac has been reabsorbed so they don’t have to jab me with a needle to the sternum a la “Pulp Fiction” to drain it. I will still have cardiac arrhythmia on occasion- for the next 3 years – because there’s a hunk of metal/mesh in my heart. And I have to go see my cardiologist once a year for the next 2 years for a heart scan. And for a couple years I have to take a honkin’ dose of antibiotics before any dental procedures. But I’m healthy. And I don’t have to go see my cardio-thoracic surgeon again. And all activity restrictions are lifted – I can go sky diving tomorrow if I want. I’ve gotta stay on blood thinners until June (no exceptions), but after that it’s my call if I want to keep taking them (doc said he’d prefer for me to keep taking them until the anniversary of my surgery in December).

I really survived it. I did it. I’m a walking, talking, breathing, healthy girl with a future ahead of her. The fear is lifted. I WILL NOT have another stroke. I CAN safely carry a baby in my belly come December. My arms, legs, fingers, toes, nose – all of it – they all work, and even better, I can feel all of them. The world has never been more beautiful than it is today.

Time to start training for that marathon. Look out universe, my ability – and determination – to give you hell just doubled. And now:

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This entry was posted in Adventures, Strokes 'n' Heart Holes, Who? Me? and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to I’m okay. Like for reals. I’m finally okay.

  1. Attagirl! Way to work properly internally! Love you!!

    • JamieRene says:

      Aww thanks for the attagirl, it made me smile so big!! I gave my heart three cheers when I got back in the car at the doc’s office – she did such a good job =D Love you too!! I promise, the big email is still coming LoL XOXO

  2. Daddie says:

    Hugggz^∞

  3. Leneshia says:

    Absolutely freaking awesome! Just when I was feeling down and out..your blog reminded me to not take the small things for granted. Well done Miss Jamie…you’re so blessed!

    • JamieRene says:

      Thanks friend!! I really miss you!! I haven’t forgotten I’m supposed to be planning a lunch btw, I’m just doing a really terrible job of getting from point A to point B =P I’m blaming the ADD, for reals. We shall text/confer and get the lunch business back on track. We may end up having to do a late late lunch (say 2:00ish) or do a Saturday. BIG HUGS, and don’t feel down and out, you are AMAZING!!

  4. The Hook says:

    Way to survive and thrive, young lady!

    • JamieRene says:

      Thanks so so much!! It’s been a long road, but also a blessing in disguise – I’ve learned so much about myself, and appreciate the little things so much more =D

  5. Super interesting story you have here – I’m glad you are okay.

    • JamieRene says:

      Wow, thanks – it’s been totally surreal, but I’m very glad to be okay too. I’m actually quite thankful it occurred when I was healthy enough to overcome it fairly easily ya know? Ha! It’s odd the wide variety of things we can find to be thankful for =P

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