I Love My Spam Comments. Because They’re Falsely Motivating.

My spam comments are kind of one of my favorite things to check out everyday. Aside from the grotesque grammatical and spelling errors, I love checking which post they were tagged to (listed to the right of the comments). Usually they are totally unrelated. To anything. Outside of this however, I like to pretend they’re real comments from someone that actually read my post. And I feel happy…motivated even. Got a sampler pack of my faves for y’all. Check it.

SPAM

@Pocket Projector 2011: First off, I would LOVE to see how a pocket projector differs from a pocket protector. Fo sho. And what career path have you chosen? As you posted to “What Benjamin Gave Me for Christmas” I can only assume it’s something related to buying, or marketing? Hmmmm? It appears that you’re experiencing a little stress and difficulty in your position at this time, and I’m glad I could offer some solutions such as “making hints lists” or “crocheting giant stockings to put your stuff in”. Also, Harry Potter Legos. Harry Potter Legos can fix just about anything. Like duct tape.

@Antone: I kind of believe you. A smidge. Comment and related post are appropriate. Except my computer says you’re SPAM, so I’m gonna go with that. But gold star for effort honey.

@How to Start a Blog: Thank you for thinking so, but you know when you click on the little highlighted items? That indicates a link. So you’re going to a different page. So that little article about the end of the war in Iraq? Yeah. I didn’t write that. A nice young lady, and her gentleman co-worker from The Huffington Post did. Consider it an informal “hyperlink change arrangement”, if that makes more sense to you.

@NewBlog: When I first read this, I thought you were threatening to grab my ass. Uncool. “rss” is okay, but I recommend that you use “RSS” when spamming future sites. I am glad that you love cupcakes enough to ask that I “kindly let [you] understand so that [you] may subscribe”. Because I talk about cupcakes. ALOT.

@Jared: Thank you for your obviously heartfelt comment. Just a teensy question…did you intend to use the word “rattling”? Or should that maybe be “really”? Both are applicable dear, I’m just asking. Frankly I was a little rattled/interested that someone would wear crocheted socks with patent-leather stilettos. And I was really interested in the anti-theft properties of a crocheted wallet chain. Your thoughts?

@Amina: Yes. I absolutely composed this content. And I did indeed do my best to provide the most qualified information on funky yarn art from the early to mid ’90’s. You’re welcome.

@SharondaLayo: I am overwhelmed with the wealth of information you have provided me. Thank you for taking the time to post such a detailed comment. I particularly appreciate that you posted it to “Synonyms for Pants”, and am quite fond of your phrasing regarding “stupid ninja tricks”, “silly mind control techniques” and “the Google Sandbox”. Your dedication in creating a 5 minute video for my reference is truly admirable.

@Benny: So glad your dad digs the “fly tops and funky flavas” in Get Your Crochet On!… And that you should feel my post is “genuinely remarkable”. Well, it’s enough to make a girl blush.

@Kaylee: Oh Kaylee. You may be my favorite. I think “a very powerful thing” in fact IS “working in trustworthy good faith”. In dance montages. In the British Navy. And I think “each boys and girls really [will] feel the affect of just a second’s pleasure for the rest of their lives”. Because dance montages do that to you. That is what you were talking about, right?

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Texas Fence Supply is a supplier located in North Dallas; contact us for information on our wood and chain link products, as well as our modular fence system.
This entry was posted in Behavior, We're All Guilty of It, Book Love, Demanding Accuracy, In The News, Learning stuff is muy bueno, Stuff I do...Or like...Or think about, Yarn Art and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I Love My Spam Comments. Because They’re Falsely Motivating.

  1. I found your site via the yahoo search engine and noticed that while your site has great content it is not search engine optimized.

    Haha – just kidding – this post is so funny because its so damned true!

  2. I, too, am looking for seconds of pleasure for the rest of my life.

  3. Pingback: More Spam Love…it’s been DAYS, I was becoming melancholy… « I Thought This Would Be Easier

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