Counting 10 seconds to Meltdown

Scene: Saturday morning. Background: I’ve been stuck in the house for 2 weeks because of heart surgery (and now a sinus infection) and it’s turning me into a crazy lady.

I slept way late, and by the time I got up Benjamin had already been to work, and the store, and his mom’s. Pffffft!!! THEN, he was like, “And I’ve got to leave in about an hour cuz B.E. (that’s my bro-in-law) and I are going to go shoot the A-10”. Which I responded to with a resounding, “YOU SUCK” and stormed out the door to Benjamin going “Babe?”

Now you should know, when I’m peeved or hurt, I clean like a crackhead. I have to remain in constant motion, and put my


universe in order, or I start crying. I made it as far as the office before I ran out of stuff to do – so that’s where Ben found me. 10 seconds later. Crying. In the office chair. Sprawled out like a 3 year old. And like the wonderful man he is, he pulls my limp and sobbing body out of the chair and tenderly asks, “Ummmm babe? What the hell?”

Here’s the thing. It’s not that I wanted him to stay home, he had a crap week and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him going to the shooting range – I WAS JEALOUS. I wanted to go shoot the A-10! I wanted to go do ANYTHING but be home for cryin’ out loud!! But I’m sick, and cruddy, and there’s no way I can be around my bro-in-law cuz he’s got my newborn nephew at home and I absolutely cannot send him home with snot-face germs on him.

So, I catch a breath and choke out, “I’m sick of being sick!!” and start sobbing. Again. And fall limp in Benjamin’s arms where my teary-eyed boogery face starts yammering into his sleeve, because that’s where my face is currently smashed and I’m slobbering out, “I’m-an-insane-person-there’s-nothing-wrong-with-you-going-to-the-shooting-range-I’m-just-so-tired-of-being-sick-and-weak-and-helpless-and-being-here-with-nothing-to-do-but-rest-and-bake-and-clean-and-it-sucks-and-you-didn’t-do-anything-wrong-don’t-cancel-your-plans-just-because-I’m-being-a-girl” at which point Benjamin starts LAUGHING. I’m instantly irritated, quickly followed by elated, when he says, “Babe, that’s totally justifiable, of course you’d be sick of being here. I’ll just call B.E. and explain, then we can go to do absolutely anything you want, we could even go to the museum.

And because I was already on a dead-run with being completely infantile. I sniff, and pout, and look at the floor, and go, “Which museum?”

Gawd! I am such a grown up! Pssssshhh =P

BUT!! We went to get Mexican food, see The Muppets, buy books, and get a 10:30pm coffee at Jupiter House. And I felt human again. We’re saving the museum for next month because there’s a honkin’ SHARK EXHIBIT!! YEEESSSSS!! And I love Benjamin for thinking I’m justified in acting ridiculous, and for explaining it to my bro-in-law in a way that doesn’t make me sound like a complete lunatic. LOVE.

"We fall in mutual weirdness and call it love" ~ Dr. Seuss


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This entry was posted in Behavior, We're All Guilty of It, Book Love, My Favorite Things, Strokes 'n' Heart Holes, Who? Me? and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Counting 10 seconds to Meltdown

  1. Pingback: Ringin’ in the ’12 « I Thought This Would Be Easier

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